


The Crossover Episodes

by wonderminterplus



Category: BoJack Horseman
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Multi, Polyamory, References to Drugs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3965893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wonderminterplus/pseuds/wonderminterplus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Bojack Horseman drabbles. Most is not all will deal with the OT3 of Bojack, Mr Peanutbutter and Diane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Crossover Episodes

The punch was spiked. Bojack knew it was because he had been the one to spike it. He hadn't had enough alcohol to get more than a buzz going for himself even if he drank the entire bowl (which honestly was the plan.). He weighed too much for that amount to affect him too much. He would have to seek out more alcohol after this god forsaken function.

Why Todd thought that Bojack would enjoy hanging out at some house party, Bojack didn't know. And he hadn't seen a trace of Todd since coming here. Todd had been making some new friends recently. And Bojack wasn't entirely sure how to feel about that. Maybe he would be more okay with it if he had friends of his own...

“Bojack! I thought I saw you come in!” a familiar voice shouted.

Bojack groaned. Mr. Peanut Butter was here. Honestly he wasn't shocked. It seemed Mr. Peanut Butter was everywhere. At least everywhere Bojack was. And now he was coming over to the refreshment table too.

Oh god he needed more spiked punch.

“I can’t believe you’re here too.” Mr. Peanut Butter said, his tail wagging as he spoke.

“Neither can I.” Bojack said.

“Great to see you!” Mr. Peanut Butter said, sliding in closer. “Hows every little thing?”

“Same as always. Rotten.” Bojack grumbled.

“Ha! Same old Bojack.”

Bojack couldn't help but note that Mr. Peanut Butters voice seemed to constantly be at a higher volume than normal. And that was a hard feat to do. It seemed something was on Mr. Peanut Butters mind. Bojack couldn't imagine what it was. He was sure he probably didn't want to deal with it though.

Before Bojack could make an half assed excuse to get away from this social interaction as soon as possible another familiar face headed his way.

“Oh look, here’s Diane.” Mr. Peanut Butter said, just a bit louder than usual.

“Hello Diane.” Bojack said, trying to keep from meeting her eyes.

Diane closed in the distance. And she wasn't meeting his eyes either. Great. This was going to be fun.

“Glad you’re here honey. Didn't want to do this without you.” Mr. Peanut Butter said.

Well, didn't that sound almost ominous?

“Do what without her?” Bojack asked.

Mr. Peanut Butter didn't answer at first. And Bojack knew something was up for sure. Mr. Peanut Butter took a long moment to finally speak.

“Look, Bojack. We want to talk to you about something.” Mr. Peanut Butter said in the most serious tone he had ever hear the dog man use.

“Oh god. If it’s about the time I took a dump on your lawn I’m sorry. I was looking for someones else lawn but I couldn't find the damn place and I couldn't hold it in and-”

“No, no, not about- wait, that was you?” Mr. Peanut Butter asked.

Diane cleared her throat in an attempt to get Mr. Peanut Butter back on track.

“Ah, right. The subject. I.. well…”

After awhile of Mr. Peanut Butter unable to form a complete sentence, Diane started to speak.

“Bojack. As you know me and Mr. Peanut Butter are happily married…”

“Very knowledgeable about that fact actually.” Bojack mumbled.

Bojack left out the comment that Mr Peanut Butter never shut up about that fact. Diane kept talking.

“That hasn’t changed at all. But we also feel that well.. maybe it’s time for-”

“We want to start a relationship with you.” Mr. Peanut Butter blurted out.

Bojack was glad he had not been drinking at that moment. The punch would have ended up sprayed onto Diane and Mr. Peanut Butter for sure. Instead he lowered his cup, eyes wide and focused on the couple that had just asked him to join them.

“Did you just say that you wanted to start a relationship with me? As in the both of you?” Bojack asked.

Diane and Mr. Peanut Butter nodded. And Bojack was fairly certain he wasn't drunk. Not yet anyways. And he had not been able to find his horse tranquilizers so he was not high on those tonight. That only lead to the conclusion that this was real.

“As in you and you…” Bojack pointed to Mr Peanut Butter and Diane. “Want me, to be in a romantic relationship with you and you?”

“That’s the jist of it all. Yes.” Diane said.

“Why?” Bojack asked, sounding incredibly perplexed. 

“Some time after that… kiss, me and Mr. Peanut Butter got into this discussion.” Diane said. “I had to tell him what had happened.”

For a moment Bojack felt a twinge of panic. The whole kiss incident had been a stupid mistake on his part. Oh yes, he still had feelings for Diane. But he had made peace with the fact that it was stupid and to put it all behind him.

He looked to Mr. Peanut Butter, expecting him to at the very least look angry at him. There was no sign of the expected anger. Bojack would have understood that more then this reaction.

“And your response was to ask me to get into a relationship with the both of you?” Bojack said.

Mr. Peanut Butter rubbed the back of his own neck, looking awkward. 

“Bojack, come on. You had to have had an inkling that I had some interest in you.” Mr. Peanut Butter said.

That actually made sense. The dog had always been around Bojack. And he had pretty much always been friendly to him when Bojack himself had not. It all made sense. and it made him feel just a bit numb.

An almost pleasant numbness.

“So yes… I was angry at first. I admit it. But after more talking… a lot of talking, we both came to the same conclusion. We really think that this would be a great thing for all of us. But only if you’re interested. Totally understand if you’re not.”

Bojack said nothing for a good while. His mind was whirring with all this new information. He couldn't come up with an reaction at first. It was like he was caught in headlights.

“Bojack? Are you okay?” Diane asked.

He snapped back to reality when he realized he had dropped the punch cup onto the floor.

“Can… I think about this?” Bojack asked finally in a soft voice.

“Yes, of course. Take all the time you need.” Diane said.

 

Back at his home, Bojack sat on his couch. He couldn't sleep. Not with all the questions and concerns in his mind. There was just so much to think about. He loved Diane, he knew that. But at this point he was sure how he felt about Mr. Peanut Butter.

Most of the time he felt an annoyance towards the dog. Though there had been moments where they had gotten along and connected. That had felt good. But would it be fair to get into a relationship with Mr. Peanut Butter involved if he wasn't entirely sure he was into him?

Yet… there was a reason he hadn't instantly turned down the idea. Was it just because he was lonely? Or was it because it was actually something that he could see himself doing? He could just see there being emotional consequences down the road.

But then when had that ever stopped him before? Why not go for something that could offer him some happiness? At this point, there was nothing to lose. Only something to gain. 

At three in the morning, Bojack picked up his cell phone and brought up Diane's and Mr. Peanut Butters home phone number. Someone picked up almost instantly.

“Hey. I’m not an elegant person and there is no elegant way to put this but… i’m in.”


End file.
